Who Are You: That's Not What She Said Edition

So we already had a “That’s Not What She Said: Origins” edition, but I thought it might be helpful if I gave you a little more information on me and my background. But only a little. We’ll be doing this in question-and-answer format.

You call yourself a writer. What have you written? I have been a reporter with the Bend, Oregon, Bulletin and the Menlo Park, California, Almanac. That’s pretty much the extent of what you would call my “professional” writing career; long ago I wrote music and movie reviews for a college newspaper and a couple of now-out-of-business zines. Thrilling, I know. I’ve also had a few poems published, won a couple of awards for writing poetry (none you’ve heard of, though), and have a novel in the works.

Can I read some of your poetry? No. I gave up poetry years ago, partially because I decided that American poetry is a shambles. I don’t really have that much interest in the stuff that I wrote back then, and I don’t see why you should, either.

So what are your qualifications, mister? None, essentially, other than an ability to express myself in writing, and enough time on my hands to research this stuff. Come on, this is the internet! Who needs qualifications?

What are your political leanings? Not really relevant, but I think I’m currently registered as a member of the Green Party. I’d probably be a Republican if I could tolerate their military or social platforms. Sadly, I can’t, so there you are.

Will you loan me money? Hey, I’ve got a mortgage and bills too, buddy.

Will you at least tell me your real name? Joseph. But unless you’re here to offer me unspeakable amounts of money or fame, I’m afraid I can’t give you my last name. Just call me Linus, and everybody will be happy.

What does “That’s Not What She Said” even mean? Well, on the NBC sitcom “The Office”, anti-hero Michael Scott can’t resist responding to even the slightest of double entendres with “That’s what she said!” Since “The Office” is about to go off the air for who knows how long . . . I think you can put the rest together for yourself.

You call yourself a “TV junkie”. What shows do you watch? I watch “The Office”, and recap it at Northern Attack, splitting duties there with Karin, who has already been kind enough to comment on this here blog. In addition, I’ve been known to viddy “Scrubs”, “30 Rock”, “My Name is Earl”, “Heroes”, “Lost”, “Bones”, “Boston Legal”, “Pushing Daisies”, “The Wire”, “Battlestar Galactica”, “Good Eats”, “Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations”, and “The 4400”. I also have been known to watch old DVDs of “Veronica Mars”, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, “Angel”, “Firefly”, and “Northern Exposure”. Horrifying, isn’t it?

Do you have a comments policy? I don’t want to have to start a registration policy, so I’m asking you to keep your comments civil and legibile. That means no webspeak, no politics, no religion, no ad hominem attacks against me, other commenters, or the subjects of the posts. NO YELLING! no posting in all lower-case unless you are ferd farkel. Use a reasonable number of exclamation points (!), question marks (?), and other punctuation. If you find yourself getting too heated, do what I do (because I have that problem, too): Take a break. Calm down. Sober up. Come back tomorrow. This is an environment of welcoming, and disruptive commenters can just get the hell out of here.

What else do you have to say for yourself? Not much. I’m hoping that this strike is short; in that case, That’s Not What She Said’s raison d’etre disappears quickly. That’s fine with me. But until then, if you want the news and don’t have the energy to find it yourself, stop by. I’ll be trying to update daily -- and sometimes, like today, several times a day.